Overall I'm feeling ok. Trying to pace myself and conserve energy, though that's not entirely possible with a two-year-old running around. Family has been good to me and I've had a lot of help. Baby really dropped towards the end of last week, so I'm feeling the bone strain in my pelvis. I remember feeling that a lot sooner with Will. I'm also having less braxton hicks now towards the end than I did with Will. My belly consistently measure a few centimeters small at each midwife visit, but Barbara's capable hands are confident that baby is a healthy size (she though 5 1/2 lbs at 36 weeks) and that my torso is just long. The thought of something on my body being long makes me smile - because at 5' 4'' I have never had a long anything. Short legs, short arms, stubby toes... But hey - it's not bad to carry small, or to make small babies. I'm not complaining.
This past Saturday Sean and I had help from family for which we are very thankful. The construction on the first floor of our house is finally moving along, and my dad, Sean's dad and his brother came to help on Saturday. The men worked all day on reinforcing the joists in the ceiling that support the weight of the second floor. This has to be done before all the walls that made the apartment into different rooms can come down. Sean's dad mowed the lawn - a task that was much overdue. Sean's mom came along also and helped occupy Will for the day. I was so thankful for that because Saturday was one of the first days that I was really feeling uncomfortable. She also helped me wipe down Will's new dresser, a great garage sale find and transfer clothes into the new drawers so that his old one can now be dedicated to baby.
Yesterday my mom came to help me clean house. She vacumed from top tobottom, a task I've been unable to do since our vacum is sort of wimping outright now due to plaster dust clogging the pipes. After vacuming we were able to put together the cradle and swing in our room and get things a little more ready for baby's arrival. She took Will this morning so I could rest and relax. I enjoyed my time and watched Pride and Prejudice again, and washed car seat covers and made a pudding treat for my boys for supper.
Now I guess I should think about packing a bag for going to the birth center. I've been holding out, not wanting to be completely ready. First, familiy was away; my parents in MT hiking in Glacier Natl Park (I am ENVIOUS! Love it there!!!); Sean's parents camping in Canada. My local sister on vaca also. They're all back now. Then there's my hope to deliver at the Birth Center. They had a leak in the ceiling at the beginning of the year. So the midwives have been seeing patients elsewhere and delivering at a local hospital instead. They are FINALLY moving back into the newly constructed house this week, and I've sort of been hoping to hold out delivering until I knew I could go to the birth center and deliver in one of their new rooms with the water tub - rather than go to a strange hospital that is 45+ minutes drive away. I am really looking forward to the holistic care of my midwives in the birth center this time around.
So I have one more work shift scheduled for Thursday. I debate the wisdom of continuing to work. I really enjoy working. I want to save as much FMLA eligible time as possible for after the baby comes. If I want the baby to come, better to stay active. But if I go into labor, better to be rested and have had a nap during Will's nap and not to have been up since 5am. And there's always the possiblity that my water might break on the train or at work. What a great story that would make, huh? And some days I'm so sore that it's hard to really give my patients the care they deserve. But the soreness is not really a daily thing. So I think I'll do this one last shift and call it quits after that.
We're waiting and trusting God that His timing is best. We'll let you all know!
Will is suddenly very inquisitive about ambient noise that populates everyday life. The way he asks is just so funny, too. "Noise" turns to two syllables and there's always a dramatic pause between "What's that" and "noise". Sometimes I don't even hear a noise to explain, so I tell him it's the quiet of the moment. Even in the grocery store he points to different people and ask what she has, or what he is doing.
He's also now appreciating Loud versus Soft voices. Yelling NO! is a favorite past time, a typical two-year-old landmark, right? He finds it very amusing when I yell back NO! at the same decibel. It has become a game, and a quick way to diffuse the defiant tension and make him smile. One favorite bedtime book is "The Belly Button Book" by Sandra Boynton. One page had words in large font spelling BELLY BUTTON! When I say that loud, he acts scared and covers my mouth with his hands. I'm not sure why that unsettles him so, though it may be because that was our first conversation regarding loud and soft. Yesterday after nap he called down the stairs to Mimi who was on the front porch. When she came he proudly announced: "I said it loud."
Maybe the appreciation of volume differences will allow us to help him use a soft voice when our next little one arrives.
I'm going to try to capture him asking about a noise on video and post it here. It's just so darn cute.
"Walking, walking,
walking, walking.
Hop, hop, hop;
Hop, hop, hop,
Running, running, running;
Running, running, running.
Now let's STOP!
Now let's STOP!"
(Sing to the tune: "Frère Jacques")
We took a walk around the block today. Will brought his shovel, I brought Libby. We left the stroller at home. We made it around the block in 45 minutes. That's not too bad considering we stopped to talk to a neighbor and pet her dog, Bailey.Will amused himself by using his shovel as a cane, stopping along the way to scoop up stones from driveways and dump them in the street. We stopped to look at the waterfall under the bridge at the creek, and to look at the police car parked at the fire station. The doors at the station were closed and this, as always, was a great disappointment to little Will. When we approach the station he always asks if the doors are open. He's learned to say in advance: "Doors open? Maybe NOT!"
Our walk was special today in that it accomplished some important objectives:
The 45 minute walk meant not getting quite as many errands done. But it meant leaving some of the ramminess by the side of the road, bonding and giggling, and a successful, pleasant trip to Trader Joes. "Whistle while you work" may have a good translation to "Sing while you walk" - at least the walk didn't drag so much, as they sometimes do.~We cleared the air after a particularly nasty melt down
~We burned off a little of that volatile little-boy-energy before heading out on errands
~We had a chance to talk about the BIG roots at the base of a black walnut tree and how they help drink water all the way up to the leaves (stretching our arms up to the sky). I love it that he seems to be starting to grasp things in abstract - even if only a little
~We sang the ABCs song through 3 times and I learned that he can sing it all the way through with me, even filling in gaps if I pause. I guess he learned it from one of our music CDs that we listen to in the car.
~He let me hold his hand without yelling "Hand OFF!" for just a little bit.
~I discovered a way to work on helping him to learn to stop when I say stop. Singing the song above to the tune of "Where is Thumbkin", we walk, hop and run along with the song. Then I really emphasized the "Now we STOP!" part and jumped to a stop ramming my arms down straight and standing in place. If he was ahead of me as we got to that part he ran back to stop and stand next to me.
My frustration threatened to boil over as Will cried and whined his way through supper this evening. These outbursts have become so common place lately, Sean and I are puzzled what is going on with our usually bubbly little man. I suspect tooth-cutting. But time will tell. In the meantime until cheerfulness returns as the norm, I continue to pray with him that God will help him have a happy heart, and to really, really capitalize on opportunities to give him positive feedback. I also decided as we were rocking to sleep tonight that I needed to make a mental note of the sweet things he's been doing.
"Thank you, mommy" has become something he is beginning to say, unbidden and unprompted. I opened a new box of cheese crackers after nap time and offered him a couple. He smiled and took them gently. "Thank you, Mommy," was his response that made me smile.
We rode the carousel at the mall today and he paused from his ear-to-ear grin to look at me and realize that I didn't have a seat belt on. "Mama needs a seat belt," was the verbal dictate I received as he reached out to my shoulder.
When he woke from his nap today Will came and actually snuggled with me on my bed for more than 30 seconds. He nuzzled his sweaty little head into my shoulder long enough for me to drift into an almost sleep twilight bliss. Then he got up and returned the cordless phone to its base where it belongs and proudly announced: "I put the phone away!"
When we were playing at bath time he took my face between his two hands and stared hard into my eyes. "Mama has blue eyes!"
Pointing to the bouquet of red Manardia on our dining room table he observed: "Mama has puwty [pretty] flowers! Will likes mama's flowers."
His desire to help in the kitchen is getting stronger and I walk a thin line in my own sanity in letting him "help". It means I have to have everything else out of reach and only the tools for the task at hand within his arm span, and perhaps a second whisk so that he can whisk his own bowl while I whisk mine. I am finding that he is becoming more capable of carrying things to the dining room table as I'm getting food ready. The smile on his face when he knows he's helping is just the sweetest thing.
One Hundred Percent boy at the ripe age of two, Will loves to climb all sorts of things. Of course, then jumping off those heights follows. Always. He has gotten into the habit of wanting to jump off the changing table into my arms after a diaper change. One needs to be ready to catch 27+ pounds of exuberant boy (whether you're 9 months pregnant or not...) and he has occasionally caught me off guard. So I've tried to train him to ask: "are you ready, mommy?" He doesn't always ask, so I have had to make sure I'm more vigilant.
I read an article in one of my old issues of Discipelship Journal this week about the concept of childlike faith. What a great illustration Will provides me as to how I should be trusting The Father with my life. Will trusts that my arms will catch him and wrap him in a loving embrace. He trusts that I'll be there whether he asks if I'm ready, or not. I should likewise have such thorough faith in God. I don't even have to ask: "Are you ready, God? Here I come!" He never sleeps nor slumbers - as we are told in the Bible, and he's always listening to our prayers as we pray through Jesus. The Spirit is always interceding for us. So even when I'm not asking God, The Spirit is there, knowing what I need, asking for me. How great is that.
So as I feel like I'm walking a tight rope right now - with baby on the way in less than a month, maybe sooner; planning and hoping for another natural birth - this time in the birth center; with the house all torn up and dust everywhere and both sets of our parents far, far away during this time of change, I'll remember to close my eyes and leap into the Father's arms. He'll orchestrate it all for our good, and for His glory.