2 posts tagged “parenting advice”

Last night was a night that will be seared into our memories for years. I am sure we'll recount this night family and friends and eventually, to Will when he becomes a parent himself. Truly, this kid has me on my knees asking our good Lord for wisdom.

Will has been a very good sleeper. He's easy to put to bed, makes no fuss, goes to sleep quickly. Naps have historically been a breeze. Of course, there were the times around 5 months when we had to let him cry for a while at nap time until he got into the routine. Then at night we had to stop getting up to give him back the pacifier when he woke up at 3 am. That took two nights of 45 minutes of crying for him to learn to go back to sleep. On the whole however, he was always a great napper compared to stories I hear from friends and coworkers.

Then over Easter weekend he learned to climb out of his crib. We disciplined him with a spanking at that point and he hadn't climbed out since. Then came Saturday when he cried bitterly at nap time and climbed out of his crib. He was so inconsolable at that point that we didn't even approach a spanking. Sunday he climbed out again, and this time we did spank him. He napped well after that. Fast forward to bed time. Sean put Will to bed and we were sitting in the living room, which is located directly below his room. With a window fan and the TV and a mild thunder storm, it was difficult to tell whether we heard a noise above us or not. A few minutes later, this little boy appeared in the doorway to the living room, monkey dragging behind. Spank. Back to bed. Repeat. Spank again. Back to bed. Repeat. This time he had pants in his hands so we wondered if the shorts-no-shirt attire was too chilly in his air conditioned room. So after a spank, we changed him to something warmer and put him back to bed. Repeat. This time he was crying and begging to be rocked. We're scratching our heads and asking ourselves what on earth could be wrong. The afore mentioned thunder storm was little more than a distant rumble, one close boom with rain, then distant rumble, and by now had died out. So we didn't consider that part of the equation, particularly given the noise of his air conditioner, noise machine and CD player playing music in his room. These are all part of his bedtime routine.

So now it's 10, he has climbed out about 5 times and begs to be rocked. I rocked him and sang a few familiar hymns, put him back down. He climbed out again. We adopted Super Nanny tactics and put him back to bed with no attention, no words, no nothing. His door opens into our room and 3 feet away is the top of the stairs. We began to worry about him falling down the stairs at night and schemed to wedge a gate just outside his door in a space where his door couldn't open all the way, and if he tries to climb over the gate, he wouldn't fall down the stairs. He continued climbing out of the crib every few minutes and crying for almost an hour. I remember seeing 11:45 on my clock. I stopped looking after that. He finally gave up or fell asleep...

Until 4:30 am. The process started all over again and we had to put him back to bed at least 6 times before he went back to sleep. Then again at 6:30am. We have finally put a pillow on the floor in his room and said that if he wakes up, he can lay on the pillow and sleep.

Let me just say that because of space limitations, a big boy bed is not an option. It's not really a solution because we're concerned about the safety of him climbing out, and then falling down the stairs if he climbs out safely. If we can't keep him in a crib, how can we keep him in a bed. But even deeper, he's slept in this crib for almost two years. He plays sleep during the day, he asks for nap time at lunch time. He has always slept well. There has been no major change or trauma in his life. Short of a possible night terror, WHAT IS GOING ON with this child? By just putting him back to bed, are we just addressing symptoms of a deeper issue?

Our pastor has been preaching through the book of James and we had a great sermon on prayer last night. So I am reminded that it is promised that if anyone lacks wisdom he should pray. Believe me, I have been whispering a prayer all night. I'm also clinging to promises found in Isaiah 40 that God will "gently lead those with young". I would still be grateful for any insight that anyone could offer, and I look forward laughing about this in the years to come and sharing the answers and solutions we found.

One of the great challenges with a busy toddler who likes to explore and pull things off of shelves and out of cabinets is  maintaining my sanity while preparing dinner. I like to cook healthy things from scratch but this often requires not only a small amount of forethought but can be time consuming also. Busy as Will is, time is not something I have. For a while I was doing a lot of prep work during his naps but some days I just NEED that time for other things. I used to use the exersaucer for this time and it was a great tool from 6 months to about a year. Sometimes however, he just got so bored and protested loudly. That defeated my goal of making dinner with sanity intact.

Lately I've begun using the highchair as a containment device. I place it where he can see me and give him crayons and paper. Alas, crayons are no longer novel and they spend more time hurtling towards the floor than marking paper. I find that I chip away at my sanity with each crayon I retrieve from under the refrigerator. Sometimes I give him a bowl and whisk similar to the one I'm using and he "makes dinner" along with me. That usually lasts long enough to make a batch of biscuits then it's on to something else.

Yesterday I pulled the step stool up the counter and had Will help me dump ingredients into the food processor for the venison meatloaf I was preparing. I make it in the food processor because I hate squishing any raw meat between my fingers and getting it under my fingernails. He held the measuring cup while I filled it with bread crumbs, then we dumped it into the bowl together. Then he helped me squeeze ketsup into the measuring cup and dump it in, and he helped shake in the grill seasoning. When we were done with adding ingredients he was content for a while sitting and playing next to me with measuring cups and spoons while I put the finishing touches on the meal. I think this is a trick I'll try to use again,though I have to be really careful to make sure that knives and other dangerous objects are out of reach and watch him on the stool.

I'd LOVE to hear from anyone else who has developed a trick of their own. TV doesn't work for my son. He just isn't interested. So besides the funny box, is there a method you use to keep track of a toddler while you make dinner and maintain your sanity?